Super Bowl XLI recap

Now that we've all had a little time to digest, let's dig in to my thoughts from the game. Trust me, they're good. I took notes and everything.

This will be the most sarcastic and cynical section of the post, but I really want to meet the guy who was responsible for putting this catastrophe together. Cirq du Soleil? Really? I couldn't quite wrap my mind around this one. The people flying around in the most awful costumes to enter the city of Miami (and that's really saying something), the other people dancing around in what appeared to be skin-tight basketball jerseys, the sasla music, the bizarre human field goal contest, the marching bands dressed up as football players (direct from a high school student's most horrifying nightmare), and just for good measure they threw in some people whose sole purpose was to run around flipping. To steal a line from Margot Tenenbaum, if somebody asked me what this was about I'd have to say, "I couldn't even begin to think about knowing how to answer that question."

The opening montage of the game's telecast proper made me think about the Vikings. Honestly, I can't see them being introduced as a Super Bowl team anymore. It just doesn't fit into my worldview at this point. That makes me very nervous. Is Red Sox syndrome setting in? Will I be increasingly worried of dying without seeing my team win it all? God willing, I have another fifty years left. That seems like a long time. But I don't know, Brad Childress might cost another five to ten of that...

Coin Flip
It was nice to see Dan Marino as an honorary captain. It was even nicer to see that he didn't try to suit up, in a desparate attempt to lead a team to victory and stop being the biggest "never won it all" goat in history.

First Quarter
Devin Hester is a freak. I mean wow. I was stunned by that opening kickoff. We all knew he was the big Bears threat, but for him to take it home on the first time he touched the ball, suddenly this felt less like Peyton's coronation and more like a real football game. I especially love how Jim Nantz said, "Rex Grossman, you've been spotted seven points." You just know at least 100,000 in the United States followed that up with, "So don't f@%& it up."

On the Bears touchdown drive, Grossman showed up for the last play and that's about it. He's like the guy who, when you're all helping a friend move, shows up at the end. You know the guy, he helps out with that last one big piece of furniture and gets full pizza privileges. Around here we call that "pulling a Blanco." Well, on that drive, Grossman pulled a Blanco.

Second Quarter
When Indy went in to make it 16-14, I got the feeling that they were through the woods. Chicago had their return TD, their turnovers, and the Colts still found a way to take the lead. It seemed that the Bears had taken their best shot and lost it. And it wasn't even halftime.

And by the way, as the first half wound to an end, how in the world did Chicago ice Vinatieri?! That's never happened. He's the most cold-blooded clutch kicker in the history of the NFL. If they found a tell on Adam V., they need to sell it for a very steep price.

I think I'm starting to like these straight-up rock legend sets. McCartney was only so-so, but the Stones last year were solid and Prince this year was great.

(Side note: I watched the first half at a church youth group function. There were rumors that they were going to switch off Prince's halftime show, and I overheard kids trying to come up with ways they could still see it. That gave me some hope for the future. It really did.)

I got home to my new HDTV just in time to catch the halftime show. I was amazed at the clarity of the driving rain. How they avoided any electrical mishap is beyond me. I loved the fact that Prince played three different guitars in a ten minute set. I was a little unnerved by hearing Proud Mary and All Along the Watchtower. The marching band with neon tubing was kind of weird too. (Hey, can we start a petition to just leave marching bands out of all subsequent Super Bowl festivities altogether?) But when he was rocking Purple Rain in a hail of actual purple rain, I said to my wife, "This is the greatest Super Bowl halftime show I've ever seen." And I meant it.

Third Quarter
I got a little random in my thoughts in this quarter. A-like so:

If the Bears draft Adrian Peterson, what will they do on the jerseys? When they have two guys with the same last name, they go initial and last name. Like R. Johnson and C. Johnson. If they have the same first initial, they go first name. Like Tank Williams and Todd Williams. But what if they have two players with the exact name? Middle initial? "I" and "II"?

They put up a graphic that showed Rex Grossman, in the first half, racked up 32 yards and a 120 quarterback rating. That's just not right. Like baseball statistics, you should have to have enough playing time before qualifying for some stats. But as Grossman took two sacks in the middle of the quarter, I swear I almost felt bad for him. Almost. Slap on a purple jersey and the number 9, and you have Tommy Kramer all over again. Painful.

That Emerald Nut commercial was the role Robert Goulet was born to play. Best commercial of the night.

NFL + HD = HOLY COW. I've heard people rave about it before, but this was the first football game I've seen in high def. It's unreal. There aren't enough superlatives to explain how great it is, nor are there enough slanderous names to shame you into going and buying a great television.

I actually heard Phil Simms say, "I don't have the numbers in front of me, but..." and I didn't hear the rest of what he said. I was too fascinated by the prospect of starting sentences this way. "I don't have the number in front of me, but you're kind of a douche." "I don't have the numbers in front of me, but isn't it time we had taco bar for lunch?" "I don't have the numbers in front of me, but I'm pretty sure the accident was your fault." It's a bright new world, my friends. Let's live it up.

Fourth Quarter
11:44 remaining, I go to the kitchen because my wings are ready. Indy scores on an interception return. The moral? Never go to the kitchen during live game play. Wait until a commercial or get married and have your spouse take care of those things. On the challenge, I love that CBS has the zoom feature on their replays. It really makes things crystal clear. That and HDTV. Just thought I'd mention that again.

So a dome team has finally won the big one. Great. I suppose that means there's hope for the Vikes too. Yeah, but not really. I stand by my previous statement.

Tony Dungy is a class act all the way. I know I'm way late on this, but it's absolutely true. He is a good man in the deepest sense of the word.

Can we all finally admit that The Bowel Obstruction That Is Rex Grossman is a crappy quarterback? Can we all finally stop talking about Peyton Manning, and furthermore stop seeing him all over the tube? Can we all finally recognize that I, winning the office football pool behind the strength of correctly picking the Super Bowl champs over a month ago, am a great football mind? Yes, no, and probably no.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We were starting to get nervous at our house because you hadn't commented on the game. I'm glad you pulled through. I do agree HD is where it's at. We own one too and now we wouldn't go without. I was amazed you mocked taco bar because that's what we had for the people at our house. Taco Bar RULZ! I would agree that Prince would have to be the best halftime show ever. Not overly produced (for the Super Bowl), classy, and the rain totally did it. He may be the only hope MN might have of playing in the Super Bowl. That's a sad thing.