A New York Story

The thing about being a graphic designer is that you're at your computer all day. If another designer friend is at their computer all day, you can speak to them via the interwebs. Given enough time, things can get loopy. This story was written by both myself and Gordon (who also took this photo). The idea is that it's what a story would be like if written by someone who 1. can't write well? and 2. has never actually been to New York City. Enjoy.

When he got to New York, the first thing he did was go to that one place all New Yorkers go... you know... on, um, West 57th. He looked awestruck upon the towering edifices of commerce, and then went to Central Park, had an ice cream cone on that one lawn part and watched the sailboats in the pond thingy. He saw some cops working a murder investigation by that castle thing in Central Park. They were using high technology to show people gross things that happen to murder victims in the best city in the world -— New York City!

Then he went to see Letterman, like all New Yorkers do. He stopped at Rudy's Deli for an authentic deli-style sandwich. It was delicious enough for even Regis and Kelly. After the show, he went to Sbarros for some authentic New York Italian pizza and pasta. "Pizza really does taste better in New York," he thought to himself as he walked to his new apartment a couple blocks away from Times Square.

He walked into his apartment and gazed out the wall of windows that looked out over the neighborhood. He felt comforted by the eclectic mix of funky furniture and expensive kitchen tools that graced his 1200 square foot flat. He knew he would have to go to work at the coffee shop soon, but until then he could relax on his modest balcony and watch the world go by with his friends that also did not really work.

After a few minutes, he walked across the hall to his friend's apartment that was not at all in the same style as his own, nor was it anywhere near the same size. They were doing something wacky, the way all neighbors in New York do. He said hello to his neighbor's duck and pet chicken that miraculously survived in a tiny apartment. He and his friend played foosball, and spoke to each other with astounding wit. Moments later their other remarkably attractive friend arrived, and together, they joked. It was a little awkward in the room, seeing as how the remarkably attractive friend (whom everyone knew was actually five to eight years older than she claimed) had slept with both the witty guys playing foosball. Her baby made things difficult as well, when she was actually being a mother, which was about as often as she worked.

After work at the coffee shop he decided to go to a Yankees game. He sat next to this couple who looked really cute together. There was a romantic tension between them but it seemed like neither one wanted to admit it just yet. The Yankees won, because the game wasn't very important. Then he hung out at his favorite bar with some other extremely witty but slightly quirky twenty-something friends.

"What a day it's been," he said. "I totally love New York." And he knew in his heart that it was true.



John said...

Mmmm . . . familiar plot lines!

Gordon said...

lol. A literary masterpiece hidden in the muck of the interwebs? I say yes.