"The next day I got a call from my buddy Elroy. He was trying to set up a night out, and even though I knew it was going to end up at the Ole Piper, I reluctantly agreed. I tried to tell him about my startling revelation from the day before, but that conversation headed nowhere fast. I should have known better and just saved my breath. I suppose I was hoping for a spontaneous evolution in the phone habits of the North American male. No dice. So with a few hours to go until the promise of tap beer and pizza toppings past their prime, I set out to commence a project I'd had on hold for a few weeks. Grabbing my keys and CD wallet, I hustled down the sidewalk to my car, unexpectedly eager for a trip to the hardware store."
[In real life, the Ole Piper has excellent pizza. Just so you know.]