Week 13 picks.

It's almost playoff time in my fantasy league. I'm getting nervous. The bright spot is that anything better than a last-place finish is a step up from last year. Rejoice!

CINCINNATI (-2 1/2) over Baltimore
Yeah, this already happened. But I did call it, Paul is my witness. I just wanted to point out that these weekly Thursday night games could be such a good thing if they weren't on the NFL Network, where almost nobody sees them. It reminds me of the Victory Sports experiment with the Twins a couple years ago. Nobody wins here. Do the NFL Network people realize how much money they stand to make on these games if they get them on cable? Just give in already. I halfway expect that chain sports bars and restaurants are behind this one.

New York Jets (+1 1/2) over GREEN BAY
The main Packer fan from the office left, so I'm back to being downright nasty about the Pack. Brett Favre cost his team another game last week, which was awesome. But I keep hearing people say that he's looking good enough to come back for another year. My head starts to spin with giddiness if I give this too much thought. In a related story, only twenty more days to go until the MIN/GB showdown at Lambeau.

Dallas (-3 1/2) over NEW YORK GIANTS
I really don't care about this game. I don't. All the off-field hullabaloo doesn't matter to me. They're all idiots. I'm just picking this game so I can officially document something I said earlier this week:

If the Cowboys make the Super Bowl, I'm swearing off pro football (except for the Vikings) next year. No fantasy football, no pick 'em pool, no weekly blog posts, nothing. I'm serious.

Seattle (+3 1/2) over DENVER
The Seahawks are sitting pretty right now. In perfect position to run away with the division, they saved a few miles on their offensive stars, and this cake game against the Broncos. I'm really actually happy that the Jay Cutler era has started. I was tired of hearing Broncos fans complain about Jake Plummer (it's been going on since last year's draft). It'll be a nice change to hear them start making excuses for Cutler. It's going to be a wonderfully Bronco-free January, folks. Let's all give thanks to the Lord above.

Minnesota (+9 1/2) over CHICAGO
My resolve to always pick my team is leading me into delusional territory. I actually think the Vikings could pull this off if everything goes right. If the offensive line plays up to their potential, if Brad Johnson doesn't feel any heat, if the defensive backfield comes up with two or three big plays, if special teams plays a shut-down game, and if Brad Childress decides that he'd like to call a proper game instead of his trademark thumb-twiddling, then I can totally see this game going to the Vikings. Any of those things going wrong spells the end of not only the game, but probably the season. And I'm okay with that. I'm almost cheering for the Purple to blow it, so they can start putting in some fresh faces to see what they got.

If you need me, I'll be boiling my hands.

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