11.29.2006

Somebody shoot me.

Is today the perfect day to go insane? I submit to you that it is.

Here's the scene: It's another boring Tuesday afternoon here at work. I'm doing a lot of staring out the window at a snowstorm that is threatening to make this afternoon's commute home unbearable, and wondering why they haven't let us go yet. My wife's at home because of this storm, but not even a delay here. I just read Bill Simmons' latest article, and now I'm in the mood to make some witty observations about sports. But here's the thing--

There's absolutely nothing interesting going on with any of my teams right now.

1. The Vikings
After an astounding losing streak that saw the Vikes fall to such mighty foes as San Francisco and Green Bay, they somehow manage to avoid giving another game away against the lowly Arizona Cardinals. (Believe me, though, they tried.) Now it looks like my team is destined for an 8-8 season at best, hanging around the fringes of the NFC playoff picture and holding onto the delusion that they can make the postseason. Now I've got to wait until next September to see Tarvaris Jackson play in a game that actually means anything, and I have to keep cheering for a team that at any moment could implode around the uber-mediocre Brad Johnson. Yippee.

1b. Fantasy Football
Who am I kidding? I'm not good enough to be an elite team (or even break 100 points), not crummy enough to be in the basement. Is it a bad sign that I'm spending half-hour chunks thinking about which players to keep for next year? Yes? Perfect.

2. The Wild
They started hot, that was great. Now it's just a matter of waiting until the playoffs start in... well, when is that? April? Regular season NHL just doesn't do it for me. Maybe in a year or two, but not yet.

3. The Huskies
After pro football, college hockey is what sustains me through the winter. And St. Cloud State, my alma mater, is putting together a pretty good year. It's been a while since they've been a top ten team. They've played great for the past three weeks, hanging two ties on the Gophers and blowing away all other comers. They're entering the soft, chewy middle of their schedule, featuring Michigan Tech, Colgate, and Alaska-Anchorage. Things should be pretty smooth until their grueling gauntlet for the last month and a half of the regular season. And yet, they aren't coming to play CC, I can't see them on TV, and there's only one website that has any information on them. It's just not that easy to get jacked up about it.

4. The Timberwolves
Just kidding. I don't pay attention to them. Just trade KG already and be done with it.

So I'd like to be a huge sports fan today, but let's be honest. It ain't happening.

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