My morning.

Normally I don't post twice in a day, but today's different.

Kids, make sure you read the label of your drugs before you take them. For instance, you need to know if knockoff Benadryl makes you drowsy. This is vital information. Yesterday I took one and it made me insanely tired for the afternoon. This morning I took one again, but knowing it made me drowsy I downed a couple cups of coffee to counteract it. This had some wonderful consequences.

My focus is outstanding. I zone in on something I'm doing, and huge chunks of time just fly by before I even realize it. I find myself listening to the Velvet Underground and yes, it's true, they are the only band you ever need to listen to. I feel lightheaded, but in a good way. When I pass someone in a hallway and they say, "How are you?" I just want to yell back, "I'm high as a kite, b!%*@ mutha#&@$a!!!" and run away screaming. It's the same kind of irrationality that makes me want to drop an f-bomb in front of my mother-in-law.

So to sum up: Benadryl good, especially with coffee, extra-specially if you haven't had any chemicals in your body in years.