How now, Denver?

Allow me to give a little discourse on the city of Denver, Colorado.

First off, it is the worst American city I have ever been to. Keep in mind that I've visited such places as Sacramento, Houston, and Miami. This beats them all. Some people will half-heartedly defend the city by saying, "It's really not so bad once you get away from the ghetto areas." My response is always, "Where in Denver isn't a ghetto?!"

It's outbursts like this that are going to cost me my job someday.

Denver Broncos fans are terribly fairweather. Last year when they made the AFC championship game, I swear there were four to five times as many Broncos fans as the rest of the season. The nice thing about Colorado Springs is that everyone is from somewhere else (I think I've met a grand total of five natives so far), and they all bring their football teams with them. The result is that in my office there are only maybe a half-dozen actual Broncos fans, until they do well, in which case the number can go up to about 40.

Here's an illustration. A certain woman in the office (I won't mention her name because I'm so busy ripping her apart, like a good Christian, the rest of each day) was a Pittsburgh Steelers fan last year in the week before the AFC championship game. This was a bold move, considering the number of Broncos Bandwagon Jumpers around. A couple weeks ago, when they threw a party because the Broncos were going to be on Monday Night Football, you know who showed up in a Jake Plummer jersey? This very same woman. FOR SHAME.

Come to think of it, the office parties for the Broncos and no other team is probably the factor that makes me despise Broncos fans the most. Almost everyone in the office cheers for another team. Stop it with the football parties already.

Anyway, I picked Cleveland to upset them yesterday, which they didn't. Despite picking four other upsets, this one went unmet. And I'm good with that. I now know that I was picking with my heart instead of my head, and I'll correct the problem in subsequent weeks. I just know in my heart of hearts that all of this winning that Denver is doing is only going to lead to a precipitous fall come January.

So rock on, Broncos! Pull those fans out of the woodwork. All the more people to stab in the chest in three months.