Some thoughts...

...on the football weekend.

1. The FOX go-bot had a jack-o-lantern head yesterday. Amazingly, this brought the ridiculousness level down a little bit.

I think my major beef with the go-bot (besides the fact that he has absolutely no reason to be there) is that they obviously spent so much time and money to mimic the actual motions of a football player warming up. It brings to mind the existentialist meaning of the word "absurd." The general idea is that when you consider the fervor with which we carry out life, coupled with the groundlessness of our existence (their thoughts, not mine), life seems absurd. When you consider the fervor with which the go-bot animators carried out their work, coupled with the utter pointlessness of their task, the go-bot is profoundly absurd.

But it does open the door for other holiday heads. A turkey head, Santa Claus, baby Jesus, a menorah, Marin Luther King Jr., the possibilities are wide open.

2. Allow me to be the 81,000th to say it. Stick a fork in Pittsburgh.

3. The field goal gone bad in the Chiefs/Seahawks game has to go down as the funniest play of the year so far. You could almost hear Dustin Colquitt screaming, "Not the face! Dear Lord, not the face!" The ruling is questionable, sure. But if that was a pass, it was the ugliest pass in the last ten years, and that includes all levels of football, including little pee-wee football. They should've just not overturned it and cited the "worst pass in football" rule. That and, let's be honest, he should've fallen on it right away. Why can't they teach this in training camp? Can I be an advisor and make lots of money to teach punters and kickers how to fall on footballs? Please?

4. I saw a lot of commercials yesterday for KFC's Famous Bowls. I know they've been around for a little while now, but let me give my take on them. This seems like such a bad idea that I can't help but be fascinated by it. This is a brilliant idea because it's so out there that many, many people will want to try one, even if they're horrified by it. Count me as one of them.

5. Where can I get a shiny acoustic guitar with a big Ford logo on it? Do I have to get up early and have to be on time?

6. So Jay-Z is now hocking Budweiser Select. Does anyone remember that he did a Heineken commercial a few years back? Is this the new front of rap violence? Are the Anheuser-Busch people gonna mix it up with the Heineken people? How many up-and-coming beer execs will become victims of gang feuds? Will this claim Jay-Z's life? He could single-handedly revive the rapper retrospective TV special industry. Stay tuned...

Skol Vikings!!!!